I had a rather remarkable therapy session today. I shared the details in Grace Uncensored because I thought it was more of a personal reflection than a help to survivors. That healing event I'd had but never felt that "magical" moment of integration did happen today.
Am I fully integrated now? Have I been integrated but experienced fusion? What textbook term do I use? I just know that externally I am now one instead of a select few. All had been integrated into a few. And now those few are one, to include the birth child who is now the strong adult blogging advocate. Soon I will post the alter pictures of Jane. I did not know she was the core child until recently. But it explains why she was so prominent in my now dismantled system.
My wish is a balance of my joy and happiness with her intensity and seriousness along with a plan to schedule the day so we fulfill the rest of my life in a satisfying manner. We will have blogging and advocacy time, healing energy work time to rebuild body strength and stamina, and time to have fun with the Pleos and turtles and fun videos and renewing of the fun in my relationship with my SO. It's been a long 18 months without much connection there either. Time for renewal and connection.
I am happy to report that complete healing or integration need not be attained to have a fully functioning life back. Any healing beyond that point is icing on the cake.
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