M is for Misophonia

I learned a new word today. I have no idea how prevalent it is with trauma survivors but am sharing it here because some of my triggers cross over from trauma. Am hoping writing of this doesn't trigger anyone, so just in case you are a survivor in early stages of healing, please use caution if you do proceed.

Since my teens, long before I knew I was a multiple or had experienced/was experiencing trauma, I was hypersensitive to gum cracking, eating noises, and things like clinking of silverware on a plate. I recall one time counting the number of times my mother said "um" while talking to me instead of hearing what she said. Flash forward from age 16 to 60 and take into account I just recently changed trauma therapists after being with one for 15 years. The new therapist told me of misophonia and suggested I google it because of the triggers I realized I still had after just having a tremendous emotional healing experience. Here is part of the definition I found from Wikipedia:

"People who have misophonia are most commonly annoyed, or even enraged, by such ordinary sounds as other people clipping their nails, brushing teeth, eating, breathing, sniffing, talking, sneezing, yawning, walking, chewing gum, laughing, snoring, whistling or coughing; certain consonants; or repetitive sounds.^[7] Some are also affected by visual stimuli, such as repetitive foot or body movements, fidgeting or any movement they might observe out of the corner of their eyes. Intense anxiety and avoidant behavior may develop, which can lead to decreased socialization."

You can also google and find a complete list. It's classified as a neurological disorder and apparently neurofeedback can help although I don't know to what extent at this point. I did read of one person where the sounds did not cause such an intense feeling after neurofeedback. Some think it's genetic. However, having been a multiple, I know my brain had to take circuitous routes for information to get from one place to another. Perhaps it routed right through where misophonia originates in the brain. Plus some trauma triggers might be mixed in with misophonia triggers but I'd have no way of knowing at this point.


Before knowing of this word just hours ago, I did/do have coping skills for it. The iPod was my gift from heaven since it was acceptable in many public places and could drown out most offensive sounds. Restaurants were places I was prone to run out of due to my fight or flight response. Others have a rage response to the sounds. When trapped with nowhere to hide from a triggering sound, such as a doctor's waiting room or airplane, I almost always have a pair of foam earplugs with me. They are inexpensive and work, but you may have to play around with the different sizes to find the ones that work for you.

There is a misophonia support group online which I just joined. What a relief not to feel alone. I had tried EMDR and another therapeutic technique called brain spotting which eliminated my one trigger for awhile but it gradually returned. I did that twice so now believe it is "hard wired" and only neurofeedback would work if anything is going to work.

If this is all that's left of my trauma, I'm a happy camper. But life would be so much more fulfilling if I found a way to reduce or eliminate the impact of misophonia. For some it can be socially debilitating. I'm hoping this post will help shed some light for others.

Handling your feelings (literally)

Unless a survivor has been in therapy for other issues prior to knowing of their own multiplicity, they are unable to identify feelings. And/or they are afraid of their feelings. A survivor may know sad, scared, alone, angry...likely to the extremes: rage, terror, isolation, depths of despair. Many who go to therapy are unfamiliar with identifying feelings. Regardless of reason, this was my most successful technique in helping my clients process feelings. It's an adapted version of a technique described in Beverly James's book, Treating Traumatized Children.

Tools needed are set of colored markers (washable ink so littles can join in) and index cards or any separate pieces of paper about the size of a notecard. My favorite was 8x5" pastel colored index cards, although nothing fancy is needed. When you identify yourself having a feeling, write only one feeling on a card for as many feelings as you have. This is especially good to do after being triggered to help process. Usually people have more than one feeling at a time. Writing one feeling down per card will help separate the feelings for you.

For instance, you wake up from a nightmare and need to do something to wind down. Depending on the content you might write: scared, trapped, dirty, mad. Later you might realize that "dirty" was really embarrassed, humiliated, intimidated all rolled together.

The cards help you to become more aware of when you have a new feeling. If you don't have a name to put with a feeling, you could write the circumstance, such as: was crying but didn't feel sad. At some point you may have a name to go with that description.

Whenever you process a new flashback or trigger, you can see what feelings cards you have that already go with the experience. I kept the feelings cards in a special box and put them away for each client after the session. You can do something similar. It's a metaphor or coping skill for putting your feelings away where they are safe until you need them again.

In the process of doing this, you will become more comfortable in literally handling your feelings and not be so afraid of the word on the card. You might want to bring the cards in to therapy and work with them. Any of these suggested techniques can be modified to best suit your comfort level. Colored pencils or crayons instead of markers...or even something more artistic. Choices choices choices. You have that power now.