Change can be good

Fusion is new territory for me so the blog is hopefully educational for many. After a month of continuous visual messages and collages that I don't understand all or part of any message, today was different in a good way. I began to receive direct messages. The internal voice or the answer "landing in my head". I'm wondering if acknowledging Easel as the lovely alter doing the collages was part of that change? Would like to share the answers from this morning.

On my art blog, I had a post revealing Easel from the time she was a young girl. The collages showed me she was a very little girl but I also know her abuse began as a baby. The post made to the art blog immediately preceding Easel was a collage I had of my effed up f*ther. He's sitting on a tiny little island painting on an EASEL! Look at that inner strategy! Also, the first three letters of Easel's name are his initials. Knock me over with a feather.

Speaking as a spectator of my own (Easel's) collages, I was blown away by Zen Space, also posted on the art blog. I connected no trauma to the image. My SO's first response was "stairway to heaven". This morning's message was quite profound. The collage is a perfect example of Stockholm syndrome--why captive children may not flee even if given an ideal opportunity. Here is the collage followed by the explanation.


Zen Space by grace2244

The woman appears oblivious to the stairway behind her. In fact she seems oblivious to the beautiful sky behind her. She is focused on the lovely blossoms. She has wings but they aren't large enough to fly. It's difficult to tell but the wings are torn just behind her back. They wouldn't work even if they were larger. She has no curiosity to explore the stairs. If the stairway is an indication of "going to heaven" or suicide, that is forbidden. Even though survivors of organized abuse are plagued with messages of suicide when healing begins, while we are "useful" to the underworld, running away or escaping is under threat of awful consequences. And suicide is under the dire consequences of several innocent or loved ones being killed.

It's easier to block out the rest of the world, to include beauty and escape routes, than to see what we can't have. Pretty picture--powerful message. Stay or suffer beyond comprehension. Don't even think about it. Am watching the special coverage building up to tomorrow's inauguration. It's all about change and excitement. Am pleased with the change in me today.

It's not okay to be a baby

My friend Faith (the Blooming Lotus blog) has been discussing unmet child needs of a child born into abuse. I'm addressing this very intense topic here because all born into the organized world of pedophilia are subjected to a "formula". Getting back to sophisticated pedophile basics: a child is not human; a child has no rights; the only purpose of this birth is to add to perverse pleasures while also providing a source of vast income. Child exploitation is a huge business.

Part of the formula to create a dissociated baby is to use the baby's body as it's own source of trauma and torture. The word neglect cannot be used because neglect is to not do something that is right or to otherwise do something that is hurtful. Harm inflicted on babies born into pedophilia is intentional. It's not neglect. Neglect implies some level of caring at some point.

Babies are hungry. Keeping a baby in various stages of starvation or forced overfeeding creates a fear of food. That becomes a source of extreme fear and resistance when an individual genuinely tries to care for the baby. Random fear makes it worse. The baby doesn't know when it will be fed without trauma or with a trauma element. Ability to speak is not a requirement for a baby to experience sufficient trauma to dissociate. Even though there is no vocabulary for the baby, there is definitely emotional response.

The baby's body produces waste products. The baby learns quickly to fear his or her own body functions because something awful will follow. This trauma induced with one's own elimination processes, and sometimes a perp's elimination processes, creates phobias and shame of untold proportions. I don't know of a single survivor recalling any element of this early abuse (which continues into verbal years for the child) who has done so without enormous shame. Even though the child is the target of the shame, it is recalled as having been the shamed one. It is very difficult to process these memories where just having been a baby was the crime.

A baby's natural response to cry when in distress is used as a weapon. I wouldn't be surprised to learn that no survivor has gone unscathed by harm that has come from trying to call out for help or simply to survive by expressing a need such a hunger, a wet or dirty diaper, the need for nurturing. One of the first planned giant traumas to ensure dissociation is to have a caretaker who is part of the pedophile organization be the nice person. The baby will come to know this person as "the safe one" who does no harm, who offers nurturing, who is the rescuer after being isolated in scary places. The bond is allowed to build until a certain age of infancy when it becomes the big event for the safe person to horribly betray the bonded child. "Trust no one" becomes one of the earliest lessons of life along with "It is not okay to be me." For years the child tries to make sense of the senseless messages and trauma. However, a young child, lacking any other explanation, will shift the blame onto herself. Something must be inherently wrong with the self and that is why there is so much harm and hatred directed toward the body.

Am thinking "hate crime" is too mild. Pedophilia is too mild. What happens to the unseen children of this underworld is an atrocity. It is on the same level as the holocaust. Unfortunately, few holocaust survivors were able to dissociate their memories.

Numerous times I have read how the wealthy of the world financed both sides of World Wars and that can be proven as well for elements of the war in Vietnam and the war in Iraq. Thinking in those terms, the wealthy elite have financed and continue to finance the evil of this world. Elements of our country financed the holocaust to include providing the chemicals used to exterminate the Jews in the concentration camps. It sickens me that taking of so many lives from birth to be raised for the hidden world of child exploitation comes from my own country.

I have to hope and believe that President-Elect Obama will help to topple the secret elements of government in his efforts to revise government into something that helps its citizens rather than helps the government to keep its secrets and make more money. Hmmm...somehow I started out with helpless babies and end up with government corruption. On that thought, let's hope for a rebirth of a nation into the arms of hope and no longer into the arms of terror.