I have blogged about struggling with a memory that recently surfaced. When the magnitude of the yuck surfaced at my therapy session, I said "I KNOW this memory came up now because something is going to happen in the near future that this will have needed to happen." Well, it happened.
I'm a diehard (no pun intended) Dexter fan. If you don't know about Dexter, I won't tell you. lol. You can look it up. It's a series on Showtime. I can't deal with CSI or NCIS but I'm riveted to Dexter. He gets the bad guys. Anyway, I was riveted from the very beginning to the last Dexter (which was the first Dexter after processing my memory) and realized all the elements of my memory were in the opening scene except one. And THAT was new keyword for the show. Surely if I had not processed my memory the previous week, all those elements together would have triggered me so badly. After all, the memory was just under the surface waiting to happen.
But because I heeded the necessity to "go in" and get the yuck to process, I was only freaked out that my inner wisdom once again led me down the path of least emotional harm. With my therapist, I was in a controlled environment with the support I needed. If it had come up as being triggered by the television show, I would have been overtaken by screaming littles with an emergency call to the therapist to "talk me down", for lack of a better term.
This has been a repeat theme of my healing and a much honored aspect of my being. I used to have a system. Now I have several beings who are all wiser and stronger than me...and a few littles who are the inner child encompassing those raw emotions. I think even they like Dexter though. One week he got a pedophile. Yayyyyy!!!
Sometimes a little can be the inner wisdom. When the time is right, you will know which part of you connects to the universal consciousness as well as your heart and soul. Your life will never be the same again--in an extraordinarily good way.
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