For First Time Visitors

If you are a first time visitor to this blog, I invite you to start from the beginning, especially if you are unfamiliar with the potential emotional impact of long-term child abuse.

Trigger caution to unhealed survivors!

Understanding the Incomprehensible

Children of incest or long-term sexual abuse grow up to be wounded adults with complicated emotional issues. Unfortunately, some symptoms are misinterpreted or often dismissed as "crazy", only serving to maintain a tormented victim status. We, as a society, have the power to change this dynamic. Each of us can make a difference.

Mar 4, 2014

And On It Goes...

Polyvore by Grace2244

After my May 2013 integration, I thought all alters and programming were behind me. I've done well on the 30 mg of Cymbalta. Happy with husband and a spunky new puppy. Unexpectedly, on a previously highly triggering date (2/22), a part I thought had healed took control and I overdosed. 

Back into therapy. I think that program has been dismantled. It involved three alters and am hoping that's all. My beliefs about fully healing have shifted. Can never know when an event or date had been preordained to trigger a self harm program. 

In my case, because I've outlived all my death programming, I'm afraid that's all that is left. Must live aware of the least sign and call therapist instead of thinking I can deal with things on my own at this point. It may be a lifelong endeavor but am hoping such incidents are fewer and farther between.

1 comment:

Callie said...

Grace -
I know this isn't what you intend for the comments to hold, but I just found your blogs today. I have found your experiences and explanations both enlightening and frighteningly familiar. I have been in therapy for three months. We started EMDR two weeks ago.

It was a possibility discussed and dismissed in the beginning. However, it is seeming more likely that I have DID. I'm feeling this whirl of emotions from both totally frightened to relieved for a possible answer. And, reading your blog gives me hope for the future as I start to work through the past.

Thank you for sharing.