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Understanding the Incomprehensible

Children of incest or long-term sexual abuse grow up to be wounded adults with complicated emotional issues. Unfortunately, some symptoms are misinterpreted or often dismissed as "crazy", only serving to maintain a tormented victim status. We, as a society, have the power to change this dynamic. Each of us can make a difference.

Dec 19, 2010

WTF are introjects?

Introjects are confusing. It's confusing talking about them because it involves an alter/dissociative split that represents someone also known in the outside world.

Unfortunately, within the system (referring to all alters and any internal structures) there are typically several introjects especially those that represent prominent abusers. Currently I'm working with two sister introjects. They have different names inside. And scary things went with each of them.

The important concept to remember is that an introject is a split from the self holding onto the memories of that outside person. It is also a part of us that must be heard and heal like any other self.

Confusion comes in several ways. The introject "feels" like the real person...carries the same characteristics and persona. An introject is only holding such things for a specific person. Each alter/self was created for a specific role in the system. Those of us with sophisticated programmers might run into several programs designed to keep us away from discovering or even healing to the point of finding an introject. Mostly I experience headaches and dizziness.

I only had a small number of parts who freaked me out that I could only go near in a therapy session. Oddly, the most frightening ones turned out to be littles who were made to look and act terrifying.

When an introject reflects a known abuser and internally creates the terror inside that was also created outside, approaching the part is a thought that can create panic. I had to keep reminding myself that inside it is NOT that person...it is a part of me who needs to heal. And what a horrid job that part of me had...to recreate the terror that part knew him/herself. The introject is usually very relieved not to have that job anymore.

It took me ages to understand introjects. Reading about one and how to help someone heal an introject is different than dealing with one of my own. Only then did the "education" make any sense. In my case, that may also have been intentional confusion to keep me away from the word. I wasn't ever supposed to know of such things, or so the abusers hoped.

In any event, I hope sharing this might help another. As for my introjected sisters, after several weeks of doing sister sets on Polyvore, I've come to realize the sisters are merged with each other. I think that one sister representation is or has been integrating into me. I'm not sure if it's done. This is revolving around a Christmas memory in 1955 so I suspect that might be a present for me.

3 comments:

Just Be Real said...

Never heard of it this way, thank you for explaining. Blessings.

Grace said...

Glad it helped. Thank you for reading the post!

Exhale said...

Helps...it's hard to understand when this is happening at a deep level because it does feel very frightening. It feels more normal when others are working through similiar things.
Thanks