I woke up this morning with an answer: “pixie dust” is milkweed”. I ran to the computer and googled milkweed. Germaine facts to me and my system: it is the sole source of food for Monarch butterflies; it is used for medicinal purposes but can also contain a toxin called cardenolides which is a compound that can stop the heart; the seeds are pods which, when open, contain a fluffy white silky substance that is considered a parachute seed because of the way it floats in the wind.
How this translates to my programming
My recent Polyvore sets show Tinkerbelle regenerating…she keeps creating another self as one of her heals. However, her “pixie dust” also spread seeds to grow milkweed inside. In other words, these are the words that go with my inner world. Basically, I was designed to regenerate my system if I got to this place of healing and the self-destruct had been overcome.
After having all this information come to me and creating a set about it, I had some quiet time before leaving for my therapy appointment. I learned from inside that any alter who was shrouded in a milkweed pod was rescued and all milkweed seeds prior to creating a new alter had been made dormant.
Because of the work done at The Center through hypnotherapy, Spencer was able to take the Delgado part of the system into his control. The Delgado introject is contained. Am sure his external death will bring about an internal incident that will result in ultimately healing that part of me.
I believe the secret of the milkweed came from the last Tinkerbelle to surface…the one shown in the Polyvore set from last night:
I could go back to sets from the beginning to see that this had been a major part of my programming:
This set was probably done in early 2009 and was named Monarch and Milkweeds! One of yesterday’s sets is typical of what I now see when I return to the Tinkerbelle sets. In the one image of her in the fetal position in white, she appears as what would be inside a milkweed pod:
My sets of last night had me frightened of driving this morning so I had arranged for my partner to take me to therapy. I was relieved to learn it was because I was so triggered from getting answers that I wouldn’t have been able to drive safely….as opposed to Tinkerbelle planning to take over and cause me to be in a car accident. Even good answers about programming come from a trauma “bubble” which creates much anxiety.
My session today focused on garnering the resources within me to honor the healing and to thank Tinkerbelle for choosing to heal and stop the madness of the regenerating pods. Sounds like a science fiction plot.
My particular program was/is referred to as Monarch programming, but I’ve shared before that I do not think it was the official name of the government program. Clearly Monarch butterflies and their habits were predominant characteristics of alters; i.e., “returning home”. The milkweed was a surprise. Hope I can take a big whoosh now and focus on mending the body rather than on what is being plotted in my subconscious against me.