For First Time Visitors

If you are a first time visitor to this blog, I invite you to start from the beginning, especially if you are unfamiliar with the potential emotional impact of long-term child abuse.

Trigger caution to unhealed survivors!

Understanding the Incomprehensible

Children of incest or long-term sexual abuse grow up to be wounded adults with complicated emotional issues. Unfortunately, some symptoms are misinterpreted or often dismissed as "crazy", only serving to maintain a tormented victim status. We, as a society, have the power to change this dynamic. Each of us can make a difference.

Sep 11, 2011

9/11 On My Mind...In 1998

The morning of 9/11/2001, I was in bed when my husband called to tell me to turn on the television. The first tower had been hit and I was watching live when the second tower was hit. I couldn't leave the television. When the Pentagon was hit though, one of my art collages flashed in my head and I ran to get it. It's a two-sided, large-format collage. That day I nearly passed out as I looked at the tv and down at my collage. It had even more meaning as days went by and more became known about the events. For a long time I thought it was future telling because some of my collages seem not to have meaning until something at a future date happens. Many survivors have extrasensory abilities even if we don't have control over them. They just happen.

It wasn't 2001 but one of the few times I went back to my collages looking for something specific that I found another collage very much connected to 9/11. It was this collage that haunts me that so many details were in my subconscious. I do know I was a courier of information from one handler to another. Only a few things have surfaced from those "mind files". I do know, for instance, that I held something related to Nelson Mandella's imprisonment and possibly negotiations to set him free. But if I had details of a plan for 9/11 in my head since 1997 or before when I stopped being accessible, it means there was a plan...possibly a cooperation since the one collage shows the training of pilots.

Yesterday I watched many of the 9/11 television shows including the hearings of the 9/11 Commission and Rachel Maddow's revealing backdrop of a coverup. Much of what I feared about sharing these collages has been made public, which I why I am sharing them now.  My mind control memories began in December 1997 and I stopped being accessible to handlers in September 1997. Either during the 9/11 hearings show or the Rachel Maddow special, a plot as early as 1995 was found by our intelligence agencies citing several targets to be hit by jet planes including The White House, The World Trade Center, and the Pentagon. So I could have had such information in my mind as a courier, which I know was one of my jobs.

I want to share these collages so they are no longer my secret. Even if just a few see who understand the concept of us mind control survivors, I think it's important. The fact this stuff was in my head is horrifying. I do remember feeling like I was somehow at fault as I watched the live coverage. I know that, in itself, is not uncommon for survivors of our kind of abuse and "built" for specific agendas, but I see now there was more to it.

This is the first collage which had no meaning until after the Pentagon was hit.

The lower left looks like two towers of eyes...and zeros. 00 goes with "license to kill". The gray/green item at an angle above the women next to the 00 on black says "ground zero" in gray. Difficult to see. The site was not dubbed "ground zero" for a few days after the tragedy. I wonder who began to use that term. We do know much of the media ties into the MC world in some way. The lower center has an image of women with butterfly nets but just above that are images of towers/smokestacks with faces. In fact there are two blue towers and a CD (the pentagon?) with one more smokestack in yellow. Four planes but only three targets hit. In my metaphorical image language, the blobs of black with colored circles represent biochemical warfare. I wonder if the large cuckoo bird is a crazy plane. Absolut War was correct.

This is the other side of the first collage. The words under the Pentagon say "After all, this was one of our test sites." The image to the right is packaging for the product Urban Decay. Other images go with hydraulics, electrodynamics. The name of the creature on the right was DOE (written in capital letters) which meant nothing at the time but goes with Department of Energy. This two-sided collage is dated 2/21/98.

 I have memories of virtual reality and the words under the Pentagon makes me wonder if this wasn't played out in virtual reality scenarios that perhaps I witnessed.

This is the one connected to 9/11 much later primarily because of the very detailed image lower right with the words "Trade Secrets"  placed beneath it. The single image shows a tower/building reading instructions. There is a plane flying around it's head. Classes on the ground. The one instructor lower left is pointing to Plan A, B, C, D. Four planes, four plans. Totally dissociated Alice surrounds the image. The top left first shows a typewriter with the words New York Public Library on it. The image immediately below is a destroyed typewriter. Lower left and the "checkpoint charlie" image go with a meeting place to exchange information. I had the collages out because I wanted to see if any of the 9/11 anniversary specials might bring more meaning to some of them. After watching Dateline's two hour tribute on 9/9/11, I screamed when, for the first time, I saw TRADE SECRETS as going with the Trade Centers.

I honestly don't know why this was in my head but it brings up so many questions. I know it will have no bearing on anything or anyone important. All the conspiracy theories have been debunked although some still question. I will never believe that there wasn't cooperation with Bin Laden to put this plan in place. His people are brainwashed and those pilots were trained in America.

If it was foretelling the future, it wouldn't be so shrouded in images of dissociation and the word secret which appears several times on this collage. In fact looking from right to left, it shows Alice with a key in her back headed toward "checkpoint charlie", a meeting place. The image at lower left also indicates two people meeting up. This collage was dated 1/30/98. (My collages were done randomly and without any meaning attached to most of them until months or even years later.)

Rachel Maddow's special had clear evidence of a war machine where several large corporations, including Halliburton, gained millions of dollars in government contracts by our going to war. Dick Cheney was involved with the Pentagon awarding the contracts while connected to Halliburton and also reaped benefits from the company while he was the country's Vice President. While not connected to the 9/11 event per se, our CIA demonstrably disagreed with the connection of Iraq to 9/11 retaliation. Bush ignored the feedback of the CIA and we lost so many soldiers. Obama used CIA intelligence and sent in Seal Team 6 to capture Bin Laden who had been cited as being behind the 9/11 attacks swiftly and decisively. Had Bush chosen to listen to the CIA, all those war contracts would not have been awarded and those companies would not have gained from our being at war. A tragedy to our country on so many levels.

No comments: