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Understanding the Incomprehensible

Children of incest or long-term sexual abuse grow up to be wounded adults with complicated emotional issues. Unfortunately, some symptoms are misinterpreted or often dismissed as "crazy", only serving to maintain a tormented victim status. We, as a society, have the power to change this dynamic. Each of us can make a difference.

Oct 9, 2011

Destination Moon

I've agonized about writing this post but decided enough validation was available now to support what was going on with regard to my government/military purpose(s). The majority of my memories from my first few years of healing related to both NASA and Russian space and survival training. So many memories of learning how to survive every possible scenario. I probably have written in earlier posts that I was trained to be a cockroach because they can survive anything.

I never did connect the dots to the astronaut type training. Certainly I wasn't meant to be a mind controlled astronaut. I've also written how I have both U.S. memories as well as being in Russian for "space camp" when I was 12 and lived next door in Iran. My military father was stationed there. I have my report card showing three of four semesters being absent 0 or 1 days. However, the semester that went through Halloween and my birthday and possibly into Christmas because of Thanksgiving and Christmas vacations, I was there less than half the semester but still managed to get As and Bs. I have confirmation I was not sick. I have much conscious memory of my home and school life for that time. However, I was shocked when I found my report card and it validated the memory. I had wondered how I could possibly have been gone that long with no one noticing. Wouldn't people at school have questioned it? My family didn't notice I was gone...but that was part of the dissociative dysfunction of the entire family. Possibly all questions at school were filtered by another part of me.

The memory is being at the astronaut training center, then called Star City. It's now named after Yuri Gagarin who is also in my memories. Recently NASA's space mission came to a halt and we are relying on the Russians for our space transport. In several of my memories, the Russians and US government were working together during the Cold War at a covert level.

A memory began to surface in my Polyvore sets which led to this one:

From Russia with....

Based on internal messages that came with the set, I googled colonization of the moon. I learned that Russia's space program began in 1959 and Kennedy gave his "to the moon" speech in 1961. In the 1960s the Army had two projects and Russia also had plans to have a colony on the moon in the event of a cataclysmic event. Back then it was nuclear holocaust. Apparently some of us government programmed children had an alter who would be called out to be transported as part of saving humanity. It would make sense that an experienced astronaut would need to be part of the project. And all participants would need to go through rigorous survival training.

My age made me obsolete for such a plan probably at least 20 years ago. The alter shown in the box is Luna. She was programmed in Russia...meant only to surface if the project were to become necessary. They needed young teens into young adulthood to breed for a new population. Yes, it sounds like science fiction but you can google for your own edification.

I am realizing my multiplicity made it possible for me (any mind control/dissociative being) to be available for any number of covert missions which might be necessary at any time. I also believe that as technology advanced and Mars became a target of interest for colonization, that also became part of the programming. Writing this makes me wonder if Luna's programming and training were extended to include Mars or if there is another or other alters still hiding. Mars came up often in collages and internal messages with no understanding by me.

Am sure these were top secret in 1960 but 40 years has passed so documents have been declassified. That doesn't mean our new generation of government victims aren't still being programmed for colonization. Obviously the ones to be saved have been prechosen and our capabilities to survive in outer space in space stations have been proven even if we aren't ready with technology to actually camp out on the moon.

I first connected to what is known as Monarch Programming but then was led to Dragonfly which I believe was the space part of my purpose.  Who knows what else was inside me. I mean I know what skills and training I had and what languages I was taught, but have few areas where I can truly connect the dots. The "earth to the moon" story is now fully understood.

I guess it might sound noble (?) to some that governments had a back up plan to save humanity but nothing justifies the horrific trauma of creating dissociative children from birth and placing them in untold survival scenarios where the memory is constantly believing we were going to die. In addition, that plan meant the new "society" would be entirely of mind controlled beings who would do whatever they were told. "Their" utopia.

This is Luna beginning to remember her fate:

Luna 100911


Anonymous said...

I'm so sorry.

I don't recall any programs related to the moon, but I know that I was trained to survive war in urban areas, strategy, crowd control and command, and all kinds of sick stuff.

I'm sorry for what you went through.

Grace said...

Thank you, Anonymous. Your sharing is proof of how compartmentalized and specialized we were in various areas. I've always been terrified of Martial Law and that sort of sounds like your training. Also thank you for reading and caring. We survivors may not be documented by any agency but we definitely exist. Speaking out like you are all we can do to make ourselves known.