For First Time Visitors

If you are a first time visitor to this blog, I invite you to start from the beginning, especially if you are unfamiliar with the potential emotional impact of long-term child abuse.

Trigger caution to unhealed survivors!

Understanding the Incomprehensible

Children of incest or long-term sexual abuse grow up to be wounded adults with complicated emotional issues. Unfortunately, some symptoms are misinterpreted or often dismissed as "crazy", only serving to maintain a tormented victim status. We, as a society, have the power to change this dynamic. Each of us can make a difference.

Sep 16, 2008

The abc's of organized pedophilia

Since it typically takes three to four decades of a person’s life before remembering dissociated early childhood abuse and beyond, the first survivors “en masse” globally began to surface in the 1980s and 1990s. Therapists were cited as being overly generous with a diagnosis of DID when, in fact, survivors of abuse from the 1950s and 1960s were beginning to wake up.

Large numbers of survivors had horrific (unbelievable) memories related to the military, government, and other high profile locations. Those survivors acquired the letters MC as victims of mind control. In spite of similar elements to the abuse worldwide, this group of survivors was claimed to have high fantasy quotients or very distorted memories or memories implanted by spurious therapists. Apparently these therapists conspired globally to implant the same memories in thousands of survivors for unknown motivation.

Prior to the “epidemic” of DID in the 1990s when the FMSF had to swoop in and sue therapists for causing clients to falsely accuse innocent parents of unfathomable abuse [excuse me while I roll my eyes], there was the category of extremely rare occurrence of DID in survivors claiming to have memories of devil worship and bizarre, unbelievable ceremonies.

These survivors were given the letters SRA for satanic ritual abuse and also claimed to be liars and fabricators and have therapists who were somehow all secretly trained to implant a lifetime of false memories in a client. A history of ceremonies and masks and similar worship goes back to Pagan times but no perverted mind would ever think, “Hey, there’s a good way to abuse children in horrific unbelievable ways and also be able to have our pedophile sex parties with no one bothering us”...or would they?

And of course this type of abuse also occurred in unlikely places such as graveyards or church basements or in buildings where pedophiles gathered under the guise of community organizations. So all survivors who remembered such places had memory that was highly questionable.

The last group of lettered survivors falls under the letters RA for ritual abuse which is abuse of a ritualized nature (religious based or not) but without the satanic elements. Again, survivors worldwide have similar memories of experiences at the hands of pedophiles in this category. I’m advocating that we stop with the letters and simply categorize all abuse of children who remember group activity as under the heading of organized pedophilia.

What I see are different levels of sophistication (technology and knowledge of pedophilia)—not different categories of abused. It doesn’t matter what a survivor remembers because we know it was made to be unbelieved by the pedophiles. We need to look past what gets seared into a child’s trauma memory and hear they were abused in a group setting. I also highly suggest that those not familiar with trauma memory refer to the work of Bessel A. van der Kolk whose research in trauma is renowned and respected in the psychological/psychotherapist professions worldwide.

As survivors are identified and healed sufficiently to take a survey or speak with law enforcement assigned to investigate pedophilia, information can be gathered. Area law enforcement would be able to see similar locations, descriptions, abusers, etc. to know where a particular group gathers (and it would be more than one location in a community). Think of survivors as resources to be treasured. They have knowledge of the pedophile rings from a perspective no one else on this planet has. They also have knowledge of how they were used in the organized pedophile community as they became adults and were manipulated in dissociated states. That insight would be quite an eye opener for the country, I’m sure.

A large percentage of survivors who recall groups of abusers have kiddie porn memories and startle responses to cameras, clicking noises of cameras, flash bulbs, and more. This is the common denominator. Pedophiles are using the children in their rings to earn huge sums of money marketing kiddie porn and beyond (when adults in dissociative states continue to be drawn into the ring)...not to mention fulfilling their perverse proclivities.

No more ABCs. We all need to acknowledge that pedophiles have various levels of technology, knowledge, and access to various populations. Children could become prey to any group of pedophiles—and pedophiles at different levels exchange knowledge and techniques so many similar elements will be found across all groups. It’s time to take the blame off the survivors and realize they would not have DID if they hadn’t been repeatedly traumatized prior to age 6! Children don’t acquire DID in a vacuum. Something happened. Something very very bad.


Anonymous said...


Labelling isnt important! It hasnt been for me. I might have had d.i.d., p.t.s.d. etc etc, i might of been abused by a very organised cult or just a local bunch of perverts who were less 'professional'. End of the day to me it DOESNT matter!

What matters is this. I have repressed memories that have caused me to dissociate /split etc, i need to process these memorys in a safe envirment.My feelings/emotions need to be processed and my thought patterns need to be changed to more positive ones when the time is right. Thats what is imporatant to a survivior i believe.

Once we have done that we are more than capable of standing up for ourselves in the world.

Anonymous said...

How can the mental health community believe in D.i.D and not in repressed memories? Apparently 90 plus percent believe in d.i.d., so surely the same number would believe in repressed memories?!

Repressed memories are shattered parts of the self that arent accesable to the conscious while someone with d.i.d. has access to certain parts of memorys hence the different personalitys? No idea.

It just seems to me that you cant have 1 without the other!

Grace said...

Thank you for feeling safe to express your anger at the injustice too. I just wanted to clarify the difference between dissociated memories and repressed memories. Different schools of thought have different definitions, but I prefer the following. It provides a simple distinction even though the brain mechanism is complex.

Repressed memories are stored in the conscious mind but out of awareness. If these memories are later recalled, the person will have an aha moment and recall the entire event firsthand.

Dissociated memories are stored in the subconscious mind and encased in amnesia. They cannot be recalled consciously. Memories surface by passing from subconsious mind to consciousness once the amnesia "cracks" or weakens. These memories may feel like second hand telling or may never feel "real".

I think repression and dissociation are just more terms to confuse people about the real issue--that someone was abused and the memory can't possibly be accurate. For people experiencing either, it's an emotionally painful process.

Lily said...


I am studying early childhood education to become a kindy/primary school teacher. I have never been abused (at least, not that I am aware of!) but have a real passion for helping children lead healthy, safe lives.

After several years of studying I am extremely concerned that the issue of child abuse has never been brought up or discussed. I completed a children at risk course (separate to my degree) when I was 18, studying the issues and traumas associated with child soldiers, child prostitution trauma-induced disabilities etc and it also went into different therapies that are effective, mostly art therapy.

Since then I was on the look out for something like this in my degree but it never, ever came up. I have become increasingly concerned that educators are not being educated, that there is a very high likelihood there are children living through trauma and developing/have DID and it's never being picked up.

Whenever I get concerned, I do my own research. I look at the statistics and the data and the symptoms and try to educate myself as much as possible so that I can *hopefully* be more aware of any students potentially in unsafe circumstances.

I found your blog tonight that way. I read a news story about a ped ring and started researching how people end up being perps and what are the signs and it's nearly always abuse - so saving children from abuse might not just help them, it could also help future victims.

I read your blog from the start and will probably keep reading all night. I had never heard of DID before and find it fascinating (sickening that people can be so intentionally terrorising) and incredibly informative. I will be showing this to other educators and lecturers and I am lobbying to try and introduce a children at risk university subject because I really think teachers need to be far more knowledgable in this area than they are.

Thank you for providing such clear, relatable, easy-to-read information. If I can help just one educator be more aware and more inclined to DO something if they suspect (even just taking time to look for clues in drawings and symptoms and discuss with a therapist or expert what approach to take) then I'll feel like I've done something right.

This just should not be happening, it makes my blood boil and it makes me even madder that it's so institutionaslised and victims are made to look "crazy"

Thank you so much for your information and compassion for other survivors.

Hopefully I can help others open their eyes through your words.

Kind regards!!

Grace said...

Hi Lily, Thank you for your passion. I don't recall if I state in my blog what I ran into while earning my Masters in Counseling. The brief overview of DID was from the false memory perspective. Going into the program, my essay stated that I my objective was to work with trauma survivors, especially where dissociation was involved. Yet during my internship as a sexual abuse counselor, I had two clients with DID. I was under excellent supervision. You know the statistics on sexual abuse. In a population of sexually abused women, there is going to be a higher population of women with DID. My university was supportive of my being exposed to DID but when I had the second client, I was removed from the internship in spite of calls from my supervisor. I was ordered to complete my internship in an environment where I would not be exposed to anyone with DID. (Yes, I know.) My degree was used to bribe me to bow to their ways. I also received a letter from the dean stating I could never make a living treating people with DID or dissociative disorders. So there's that on the education front. The International Society for the Study of Trauma & Dissociation contacted them to offer supportive materials and the university took offense because of their already fine curriculum. I do hope there are some educators who properly represent DID. Go, you!