For First Time Visitors

If you are a first time visitor to this blog, I invite you to start from the beginning, especially if you are unfamiliar with the potential emotional impact of long-term child abuse.

Trigger caution to unhealed survivors!

Understanding the Incomprehensible

Children of incest or long-term sexual abuse grow up to be wounded adults with complicated emotional issues. Unfortunately, some symptoms are misinterpreted or often dismissed as "crazy", only serving to maintain a tormented victim status. We, as a society, have the power to change this dynamic. Each of us can make a difference.

Apr 22, 2010

Sex vs. Love

For the past week have been processing further integration only to learn one part of me is still walled off. She's probably always been walled off. Initially the messages came through Libby's sets. The woman behind glass in several images represents Libby's sexual repulsion.

Yesterday and this morning it kept coming to me that the woman behind the glass was Joy. At first..."Joy of Sex". But she represents joy/bliss at a level I've not known before. Internal aha. "Sex" in a loving relationship (at least for me and am guessing most) comes from happiness, intimacy, bliss. It comes from a happy place in healthy relationships. Whatever "happy" was in the world of abuse we know was not the true meaning of happy.

I'd thought I did experience happiness and moments of joy on a daily basis. But I also have a "wall" that keeps me from calling people I love dearly. Had thought that was my phone phobia but that particular kind of phone call is denying me a joy I truly want. I did the above set this morning before I left for afternoon physical therapy. All of what I just wrote came together during my drive time. I want to allow Joy in. I may have to wait until my psychotherapy session next week to help Libby also embrace Joy.

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