For First Time Visitors

If you are a first time visitor to this blog, I invite you to start from the beginning, especially if you are unfamiliar with the potential emotional impact of long-term child abuse.

Trigger caution to unhealed survivors!

Understanding the Incomprehensible

Children of incest or long-term sexual abuse grow up to be wounded adults with complicated emotional issues. Unfortunately, some symptoms are misinterpreted or often dismissed as "crazy", only serving to maintain a tormented victim status. We, as a society, have the power to change this dynamic. Each of us can make a difference.

Jun 12, 2011

Help to Resolve Memories of Drowning

 (This post appeared on Facebook under my page The Truth Behind Dissociation & Child Abuse. I think it warrants being posted for a wider audience.)

I had a memory early on of suffocating then being lifted up by feet and coughing up the water. Then I saw The Abyss where the diver's helmet fills with a liquid that is breathable. Replaces oxygen tanks. This liquid, now called Perflubron, is being used for a variety of purposes to include premature babies to recreate their womblike environment until they heal sufficiently. Movie history claims the breathable liquid was fictional but that was not true. I found research from the 60s that it was being used experimentally on lab animals.

Additionally, the rule for the government/scientific underworld is they are always ahead of public knowledge by about 20 years. My memory of the Perflubron is in the 60s. The movie was released in 1989 but is now a viable treatment for humans.

I am nearly finished with Dan Brown's book The Lost Symbol. He researched much about the Masons to write his book. Much of what he writes I have known. What is not connected in the book is that many survivors of ritual abuse as well as government mind control have memories of Masonic and/or satanic ceremonies. That aside, one scene in the book describes the book's hero, Robert Langdon, being placed in an isolation tank (i.e., Altered States) but with the ability to flood the tank with Perflubron. Someone not knowing about the breathable substance of course believes they are about to drown and is terrified for their life.

Stated in the book is that government torturers in our country use Perflubron for "waterboarding". The victim believes s/he will suffocate and drown but the torturer knows the person will survive since the fluid simply needs to be expelled from the lungs.

Am sharing this knowing how many survivors of the intentional dissociation abuse have memories of drowning. Perhaps this new perspective will help process that terror. I always wondered why I didn't die with all that was done to me. I figured they had to have a way of knowing I wouldn't die...exactly how far they could go. This insight explains a lot to me. And many of my Polyvore sets show girls or women under water.


Nela said...

Hi, I have recently "accidentally" stumbled into your blog by googling MK-related keywords, and turns out I struck a gold mine.
I have no memory of trauma, however some unusual details from my personal life led me to question this, and so I'm reading about this topic and searching for a way to find out the truth.

Since you're both a survivor and a therapist, I trust you are the best person to answer these questions:

1. How exactly do you proceed with art therapy? I am a self-taught visual artist, and I usually "get" images in my mind that I later draw/paint/collage. They are often morbid in nature and a person familiar with the programming techniques and rituals remarked that I must be painting what I have witnessed and blocked out from my memory. So far it was always involuntary, ie. I have never deliberately started this process, I just accept the visuals that come to me at their own pace. I would like to actively work on this issue to clear all the ugly visuals out and finally start painting art that is positive and optimistic.

2. I live in a small country where there is no specialist centres such as "The Center", and I'm not aware of any psychiatric specialists in DID patients, let alone people trained to deal with systematic child abuse. Apart for a few individuals who are familiar with the elite's plans, programs, rituals etc., no one ever discusses this subject. Should things start falling apart, I have no professional to turn to. They would just label me crazy and put me on medications, as they always do.
I am convinced my friend's mother recent breakdown (following his father's death) was a manifestation of similar programming, and all the psychiatrists did was zombified her with medication.
I guess I know what your answer would be, but I have to ask anyway - would you advise a person in such a position to go digging? Do you think an individual could ever learn to cope without the support you have? Or would art therapy alone in this case be too dangerous?

Thank you in advance :)

Grace said...

Hi Nela, the way you found out about your past is the way I found out about me. I believe we all have an inner guide that leads us to the things we need to know.

I would love to have you join my art group. All are survivors of abuse, many have programmed pasts. We all work through issues and memories with our art. If you go to and register, search for Grace2244 and send me a message telling me you are the blog post person :-) I'll send you an invite.

You can learn the tools quickly. We don't try to interpret for each other...we support each other's efforts. Sometimes I make observations. Mostly it's us to each to process their own. Therapists have been referring clients to the group.

You need to do what feels right for you to do. If you get a sick sinking feeling inside about doing something, don't do it. ok? Hope to see you at the art site.