Jose Manuel Rodriguez Delgado died on September 15, 2011. I randomly searched for his obituary, as I do for those abusers who were part of the government mind control programs who were last known to be alive. Troubling is the nondefinitive date of his death. Closest approximation was one term used. He had been in California for several years working with the government on some unknown project after having left the U.S. in 1974 to return to Spain. He was one of my very early childhood perps with memories of some contact as late as the mid-80s. His claim to fame as neurosurgeon was research on stimulating the brain with electricity to control it. He was an expert in mind control.
His book, Physical Control of the Mind: Toward a Psychocivilized Society, was a creepy look into his view of society. This quote is often cited in researching him:
"The individual may think that the most important reality is his own existence, but this is only his personal point of view. This lacks historical perspective. Man does not have the right to develop his own mind. This kind of liberal orientation has great appeal. We must electronically control the brain. Someday armies and generals will be controlled by electric stimulation of the brain." Dr José Delgado, Director of Neuropsychiatry, Yale University Medical School Congressional Record, No. 26, Vol. 118 February 24, 1974
I am extremely relieved at the news of his death. Am hoping other survivors who recall this heinous man may now have some peace. Unfortunately, his legacy of implants (under the guise of helping to identify soldiers, children, and pets) is now an accepted practice. Somewhere is a new generation of this evil still working on controlling segments of society.
Showing posts with label Delgado. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Delgado. Show all posts
Apr 1, 2012
Jul 6, 2011
Dismantling Delgado
Since my last post, I have still been dealing with the histamine effects. Mostly the rash is dormant now with sporadic itching. My Pycnogenol is kicking in and I'm taking less and less Benadryl. In the aftermath of this latest attack on my body, I wanted to begin working on the Delgado introject. I believe his job is to continue attacking the body. I've had one issue after another and don't want to have another if I can help it...at least not because I was programmed to self destruct.
Yesterday my therapist began work by addressing the internal protagonist. She kept reminding me it was not Jose M. R. Delgado but a part of me made to take on his likeness. The session ended with that part contemplating his fate...to maintain the loyalty through fear of the past or to allow for healing. When I got home I did one Polyvore set after another processing all that was coming up. Eventually I got to the one who was behind the Delgado mask. He was a tortured teen/young man indentured to Delgado.
Just prior to my session I had shown a girl imprisoned. Apparently she represented the trauma bond to Delgado.
After processing Delgado fear and abuse with many sets, I was able to show the young girl as free although she is very confused about what to do with her freedom. My last set showed her contemplating in solitude by the sea. I am sure she will heal with the help of insiders.
Not long ago I was in a trauma center terrified of my own body. Because of a recent integration, I no longer feel that level of fear. But working with an internalized abuser is rather daunting. Seeing the mask come off to reveal a tortured teen made it easier for me to want this wounded part of me to heal. Clearly he was not doing his job willingly.
Only time will tell if the programming broke. It's impossible to know about back up programming until it turns up. This is the third level of programming I've undone connected to Delgado since my father's death. I can only hope.
I would like to reclaim my life from this point forward, understanding there is still work to do. I have doctor appointments to help me fix what can be fixed of my body to return my quality of life to be more active. It's difficult to believe I'm still doing this much work when I started in 1997. It really is nearly a life sentence to undo the damage. The good news is I still have hope. I'm still evolving into the person who I can be at this time in my life. I know other survivors can too if they keep moving forward. There are times when moving forward was clawing on my hands and knees. I hated what they did to me. But we can't let them win.
We have to live to tell our stories. And we have to keep telling our stories until enough people believe who can help stop it for future generations. Delgado is alive and in his 80s. The world will be better off when he is gone. I hope I will finally have complete peace inside when that happens.
Yesterday my therapist began work by addressing the internal protagonist. She kept reminding me it was not Jose M. R. Delgado but a part of me made to take on his likeness. The session ended with that part contemplating his fate...to maintain the loyalty through fear of the past or to allow for healing. When I got home I did one Polyvore set after another processing all that was coming up. Eventually I got to the one who was behind the Delgado mask. He was a tortured teen/young man indentured to Delgado.
Just prior to my session I had shown a girl imprisoned. Apparently she represented the trauma bond to Delgado.
After processing Delgado fear and abuse with many sets, I was able to show the young girl as free although she is very confused about what to do with her freedom. My last set showed her contemplating in solitude by the sea. I am sure she will heal with the help of insiders.
Not long ago I was in a trauma center terrified of my own body. Because of a recent integration, I no longer feel that level of fear. But working with an internalized abuser is rather daunting. Seeing the mask come off to reveal a tortured teen made it easier for me to want this wounded part of me to heal. Clearly he was not doing his job willingly.
Only time will tell if the programming broke. It's impossible to know about back up programming until it turns up. This is the third level of programming I've undone connected to Delgado since my father's death. I can only hope.
I would like to reclaim my life from this point forward, understanding there is still work to do. I have doctor appointments to help me fix what can be fixed of my body to return my quality of life to be more active. It's difficult to believe I'm still doing this much work when I started in 1997. It really is nearly a life sentence to undo the damage. The good news is I still have hope. I'm still evolving into the person who I can be at this time in my life. I know other survivors can too if they keep moving forward. There are times when moving forward was clawing on my hands and knees. I hated what they did to me. But we can't let them win.
We have to live to tell our stories. And we have to keep telling our stories until enough people believe who can help stop it for future generations. Delgado is alive and in his 80s. The world will be better off when he is gone. I hope I will finally have complete peace inside when that happens.
May 19, 2011
The Last of Tinkerbelle (?)
After the scare of the flooding of suicidal thoughts followed by messages that it was an adult Tinkerbelle and her child "pod" trapped, I was able to see my therapist. This mission was to rescue Tink and her little self. Once I was guided inside, all I had to do was watch what was happening and narrate what was unfolding.
Spencer who is both internal and external to the body rescued Tink as she clutched the jar holding her child likeness tightly to her chest. Her exits were either the tear duct by the eye or the nasal passage. As the session began, pain in my left nasal cavity began to pulsate. It stopped as soon as Spencer safely removed her.
Next I saw Spencer gently set her down at the entrance to the heart...where many of my alters have crossed through to heal. Tink was given a choice and she frantically ran into the entrance to reach the other side. Spencer followed her so she would have someone safe behind her. Oddly, as she emerged on the other side, the area of my head that hit the floor when I fell and got my concussion began to feel like it was radiating with healing energy. My head has felt better since then.
After noticing the good feeling where my head had hit the floor, I almost simultaneously felt a sharp pain near the upper back of my right ear. I sensed it was the Delgado part who was in a containment area angry that the Tinkerbelle program was finally dismantled to include the pod regeneration. My therapist was so ingenious in addressing the pain and that part of me. She told me Delgado himself was not inside me but his teachings were. His training and philosophies and programming that had been inflicted on Tinkerbelle and the sister introjects. As the therapist spoke, the fear of Delgado collapsed into a book of his messages. We filed the book in the internal library in the research section. He was a part of my history and his words no longer would control me.
I've felt calm and huge relief since the session. When I got home, I immediately did an art set showing Tink and her little self in their internal safe world. I realized today that they were now able to enjoy the view of the water from above it instead of feeling trapped below it. I have faith that she and the little will heal from the unhealthy attachment to Delgado and the lies and messages they were given. I'm also relieved she wanted very much to be rescued.
As for any physical benefit, that remains to be seen. But it's my left sinus that has been cause of constant sinus infections for years. I can only hope it's not too late for healing to happen now that the trauma has been removed. At least I'm hoping it's the last trauma connected to my sinuses...and the last Tinkerbelles who needed to be rescued.
Spencer who is both internal and external to the body rescued Tink as she clutched the jar holding her child likeness tightly to her chest. Her exits were either the tear duct by the eye or the nasal passage. As the session began, pain in my left nasal cavity began to pulsate. It stopped as soon as Spencer safely removed her.
Next I saw Spencer gently set her down at the entrance to the heart...where many of my alters have crossed through to heal. Tink was given a choice and she frantically ran into the entrance to reach the other side. Spencer followed her so she would have someone safe behind her. Oddly, as she emerged on the other side, the area of my head that hit the floor when I fell and got my concussion began to feel like it was radiating with healing energy. My head has felt better since then.
After noticing the good feeling where my head had hit the floor, I almost simultaneously felt a sharp pain near the upper back of my right ear. I sensed it was the Delgado part who was in a containment area angry that the Tinkerbelle program was finally dismantled to include the pod regeneration. My therapist was so ingenious in addressing the pain and that part of me. She told me Delgado himself was not inside me but his teachings were. His training and philosophies and programming that had been inflicted on Tinkerbelle and the sister introjects. As the therapist spoke, the fear of Delgado collapsed into a book of his messages. We filed the book in the internal library in the research section. He was a part of my history and his words no longer would control me.
I've felt calm and huge relief since the session. When I got home, I immediately did an art set showing Tink and her little self in their internal safe world. I realized today that they were now able to enjoy the view of the water from above it instead of feeling trapped below it. I have faith that she and the little will heal from the unhealthy attachment to Delgado and the lies and messages they were given. I'm also relieved she wanted very much to be rescued.
As for any physical benefit, that remains to be seen. But it's my left sinus that has been cause of constant sinus infections for years. I can only hope it's not too late for healing to happen now that the trauma has been removed. At least I'm hoping it's the last trauma connected to my sinuses...and the last Tinkerbelles who needed to be rescued.
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