Unpeeling layers of programming

Poppy Revealed - by grace2244 on Polyvore.com

I just completed a rather sophisticated view of what was beneath the cyclone spin program--a visual of how it works. The collage above is related; I didn't want to post the operational collage because it is potentially triggering--spin inducing. One of the reasons I know I'm completely healed from this very large program that ran my life, is I have not been dizzy while doing all the collages. During healing, I would sometimes be non-stop dizzy for several days if I got close to it. Undoing it took several attempts over the course of several years.

In sharing what I'm learning through the cooperation of all my healed parts, perhaps therapists can see a kind of basic blueprint if survivors run into the opposite gender identity system. Mostly it is overwhelming spinning which means lots of time by abusers placing survivors in or on objects that would literally spin us around.

I've set up a collection under my Polyvore page called Dandelion Flip System. If you choose to view the photos, just know much spinning is represented. I want this information to help undo some of the horrendous backlash of getting near it. Maybe knowing these layers and double language can help shorten your unraveling and stopping of the program.

The collage above is by an alter named Poppy whose job related to dandy "lions" (Wizard of Oz). But she identifies with having Tin Man programming. The male system is represented by peacock feathers which are kind of self explanatory. Much double language was used. I certainly don't know if my double language was the same as everyone else's, but likely at least some survivors share great similarities because of abusers rarely doing something different.

If you click on the collage name, it will take you to the collage on the Polyvore website. Then click on grace2244 and scroll down to my Collections. If you click on my name, just click on the collections for this particular set of collages related to the same intense programming. Please take precautions before viewing the images if you are not completely healed.

It is my belief this was the main basis of my system(s)...the primary on/off switch for my conscious self. If we could all stop that one, we could get away many years sooner...I would think. Be gentle with yourselves, please.

Fusion and answers

Dandelions in Oz - by grace2244 on Polyvore.com

This collage was also posted to the art blog. It shows me the huge spinning program that caused conscious me to shut down when I was in the hands of abusers. Recently I did several collages saturated in dandelions. I kept wanting to put poppies in the picture. Here is my first dandelion collage. It's a little girl making a dandelion snow storm. She is holding an Oz character in her hand...Dorothy or the good witch. Almost looks like Poppy rescued her from the nest. One of the last programs I undid in therapy was this one. Someone inside made it snow on the poppy field to wake me up inside.


Dandelion Storm - by grace2244 on Polyvore.com

Another collage done in the past few weeks shows the cyclone program but as a powerful wind. Lots of programming answers with the fusion. It's amazing how these came out of me in no particular order. Together, it shows the internal cooperation of each alter sharing his/her piece of programming information to help me understand the big picture.

Will write a separate entry on my fusion update. It's been very difficult to come forward (still) following the fusion. Apparently I remain under flood control status.

Advanced spinning

Please read my earlier post on stopping internal spinning if you have not done so before reading this post. One method that might work is simply asking for the one(s) inside causing the spinning and asking if they can stop so you can speak with them. The reasoning that many alters will accept (sooner or later) is that, at one time, the job of causing the spin was helpful. Now that you are healing, the spinning is not working toward that goal. You can ask the spinner to join the safe place to heal or to agree to stop the spinning and consider the change in jobs (undoing the spinning or simply leaving to heal). If the choice is the latter, you'll still want to stop/dismantle/destroy the elements causing the spinning. My previous post addresses how to undo it if no one answers the question as to who is causing the spin.

There is a more complicated form of spinning. Some spinning, if stopped, is designed to set off another or several spin programs. I had in my collages the alters Dorothy and Toto (an adult female holding a baby). The baby was Toto. I don't give them their names... Underneath their picture were words about cyclones and strong winds and being the strongest force. It meant nothing to me at the time. I was in therapy and had undone a smaller spinning when I suddenly felt as if I were reeling. What an awful feeling. I could see Dorothy. The collage flashed in my head of her holding her baby. Inside she wasn't holding her baby. Since I was barely able to focus, when my therapist heard me holler that she didn't have her baby, she asked if a protector could find Dorothy's baby. That was done and the whirling stopped almost immediately after Dorothy had her baby in her arms. Collaging/artwork/just cutting out photos can help immensely.

For me and for two clients who used collaging, there is a sixth sense. How is it that the answers are there to help before the memory surfaces? My explanation is that there is a guide to the healing process that leads us to find the answers before releasing the memory. I'm sure I would have ended the "cyclone" eventually, but those images helped to make it a very short experience of feeling like I was in the center of a cyclone...or tornado like the Wizard of Oz. Sophisticated pedophiles will use children's story and pervert them to set up these cause and effect internal responses. Notice how I used a field of poppies as the leading image of my most recent video? That was me giving me a clue to my current memory. Consciously, I chose poppies and sunflowers as images of Italy which I find soothing and healing. Yet after creating the video, I realized I had an internal field of poppies that was causing me to be very sleepy in trying to process the current memory. Interesting, eh?

Another thread unraveled.