Sophisticated conditioning

We are now into the forbidden part of the Forbidden Topic. We have been just by my presenting this topic. But I can't go further without shifting into the language that goes with it. I would hope those wanting to learn about this underground have absorbed sufficient information (and done your own research) to understand how devious and despicable the world of organized pedophilia is to children.

The word I've been avoiding in the blog now has a time and place. If you accept that this underworld has proven techniques to deliberately create a child with multiple personalities, then you can at least consider the possibility that more sophisticated methods exist than to terrorize children and make porn movies along with other categories of child exploitation.

What would benefit an organization that wishes to remain hidden when it is committing crimes? People who are part of the organization in strategic positions is essential. Not all judges and police and attorneys general are pedophiles, but it is known by the organization who is "one of them". Damage control by letting cases get lost in a pile or dismissing charges on technicalities or other means are available, to include attacking the victim's sanity for believing such things are happening.

What about training for the victims? What would benefit the organization? Employees within child services organizations is one area where an alter can keep an eye on cases and follow orders to remove certain files and/or copy certain documents. For an even broader scope, think of any government agency. Remember spy vs. spy in Mad Magazine. One agency wants to know what is happening in another agency. No one wants to be caught though. By having conditioned alters respond to cues for gathering or relaying information, the organized crime has the perfect set up. If the victim were to be caught in the act of stealing or doing something with files against company policy, an alter with no knowledge of the covert activities would present and truly have no idea about crimes. The employee would successfully pass a polygraph test. And if the victim of the programming were to be caught "red handed", no one in the organized crime arena could be identified.

What about insider stock tips? What if a victim subject to this kind of programming (which some call mind control) were trained to relay information covertly in an alter state so the host of the body were clueless about any illicit activities?

The amnesia is the greatest and most reliable cloak for the underworld. Since memories won't surface for decades, what does it matter? Except that the underground world has continued in those decades producing more and more children with dissociative states.

I've alluded to system structures and names used for different systems or parts of a system which correspond to types of alters. At this point, I think it's time for me to take that leap into the very hidden world of programming. I don't know how I was conditioned, but I know what happened to me. I've come to understand some very complex and sophisticated programming that serves to both devastate and simultaneously create extremely loyal alters to the group.

The underground military and government centers where programmers are trained and victims in the more sophisticated groups are taken periodically for specialized training do exist and is ongoing. I am uncertain about local places where I may have been taken for sophisticated conditioning, but am 90% positive of certain locations, especially those I have visited since memories surfaced.

The term mind control tends to frighten people but when a child learns to obey adults with great power over them and are continually threatened with their life, they are controlled children. They live in fear of not obeying. Conditioning is a kinder term and maybe more digestible. Programming seems most suited for what is happening. The abusers want a specific response by a specific alter under certain conditions. This can be expanded to back up alters or a group of alters, each with a job, working to complete a specific task. In the end, a crime has been committed (even if the commodity is only information) for which the victim has no conscious memory.

What can be more evil than viewing any baby born into this world as a new commodity ripe for conditioning? That's what we survived...we being survivors collectively. This is what I survived and now am able to share. All that remains is for good people to listen and to act.

Rebirth Ceremony

This topic has the potential to be highly triggering. Please use your best judgment if you are in the early stages of healing from DID before reading further. I'm sharing this information because it may help make sense of partial memories or fears. My first insight into this ceremony was from the brochure provided by the Ritual Abuse Task Force (Los Angeles?) in the late 90s. One of my earlier collages depicted the ceremony exactly as outlined yet had made no sense to me looking at it. You can see it had no overt horror elements. I had believed from the images that it took place in Holland where my parents took me on a "special" trip without my sister. We lived in Germany at the time.


The words are blurred but become legible if you click on it to enlarge. The vultures are speaking about a dead carcass and the "ad" at the top right speaks about a sheep's uterus. The lower portion of the collage is blatantly classical music and time which goes with conditioning. All intentional horror has a specific purpose in organized pedophilia.

Recently I read another description of the ceremony from a therapist whose survivor clients had recalled greater details. Basically, the young child is placed inside the body of a large dead animal. Since I have always been tiny, I would not be surprised if the animal of choice for me was a sheep even though some believe only specific animals are used. A sheep is not one of them which is why I don't rely on one definition for anything in this underworld.

The child is sewn inside the carcass for a period of time for horrific isolation. In one of the descriptions I read, the purpose was to create an alter to be the loyal cult alter. However in both my earlier collages of Holland and the one I completed last night, I created alters to comply with sexual abuse. Did I say I was 3?! I have maybe five conscious snapshot moments of that trip. One was seeing the bunnies at the zoo. Another was the beautiful view of Kuchenhoff Gardens with rows of tulips as far as the eye could see. They were bands of color. Red tulips for acres, then yellow, and other colors followed.

Yesterday I found a pretty image of the gardens with windmills in the background that I thought I might use. When I began to collage, I went immediately to that image. What happened next I watched from the background as "collage person" went to work. The sea of red tulips became a blood bath. Alters covered in "tulips" emerged completely traumatized. A rabbit managed to get in there along with several who watched from above. When the collage was nearly done, I looked at it and was so repulsed by it but kept trying to add more horror elements which I kept deleting. Enough was enough. I got the message. It was horrific and unbearable.

I must have produced a cluster of alters both from the trauma and those that were meant to be produced. These new collages since my fusion match up to much sketchier collages from early healing. All I knew from that Holland trip was I was taken somewhere, sexual alters were created, and porn movies were made. Testing the new alters?

I'm not going to share the collage here. You can see it at my Polyvore page if you wish. I think it's too much to share openly. What I understand about yesterday's collage is the ones inside who remember have that horror of being enclosed in the carcass seared into the trauma memory. Yes, I was a very special child for my parents to have taken me on that trip for quality time.