For First Time Visitors
If you are a first time visitor to this blog, I invite you to start from the beginning, especially if you are unfamiliar with the potential emotional impact of long-term child abuse.
Trigger caution to unhealed survivors!
Trigger caution to unhealed survivors!
Understanding the Incomprehensible
Children of incest or long-term sexual abuse grow up to be wounded adults with complicated emotional issues. Unfortunately, some symptoms are misinterpreted or often dismissed as "crazy", only serving to maintain a tormented victim status. We, as a society, have the power to change this dynamic. Each of us can make a difference.
Oct 26, 2008
Stop the spin
Today I am winding down from spinning yesterday. I knew a memory was trying to come through and had been slightly dizzy. Having had sinus issues, I first thought it was my sinus headache. When I realized it might be spinning, my head whirled into action. I made it into bed, layed on my back, and went inside. I've learned how to undo it but it always feels awful when it happens. It's been quite awhile since I've had to undo one. Thought I'd share what I do. If you are still thrown out of sync too much to focus when spinning, you might try self nurturing until you can see or call your therapist. Stay safe and don't drive.
There is always something inside creating the spinning. It could be one thing or many things depending on the memory. And if you find one spinning episode, you can be fairly sure there are others. I once had a client who found an entire amusement park of littles trapped on the rides. Even in that scenario, the steps to undo it work. And there might be an alter or alters in charge of setting off the spinning. Everyone's internal world is different so I can only give very general guidelines.
Go inside and ask helpers to gather together. I always begin in my safe place and ask for help. I don't usually have to do the work but see (as a movie) what is happening. Actually yesterday I saw myself trying to stop the stopping. lol. Funny but not funny. I didn't want to know the answer I was being spun from because I knew it was a yucky Halloween thing. It was a little me and a protector held her so she would be safe. I allowed myself to be held as well...safe hug. Then I saw the flashes. The spinning object was also part of the horror.
Early in undoing spinning, it's good to have a protector or brave alter, especially a creative one, look around for what is spinning. It could be as "simple" as an old record player, or merry-go-round, or something more complex like several gyroscopes hidden in the system. Some of the spinning can be so strong as to be disabling to stand up. One of my clients had a group of insiders who always went in search of what needed to be found and would report what was going on.
Once the object is found, whomever is looking needs to check for booby traps that might need to be undone before you turn off the spinning object. They will find what needs to be done. Next, any littles in the vicinity need to be rescued. Personally, I imagine a bright light of protection to seek out all alters who needed to be rescued and bring them to a safe area. A protector might take on this role as well. Remember you can be as creative as you want to undo things. If an alter is found trying to protect the spinning, a protector can remove the alter to a safe place where s/he can heal. Sometimes, a thick glass dome or some impenetrable soundproof enclosure can surround the alter(s) causing the spinning to isolate them until all is undone. This is good for an especially menacing entity.
Now the area is safe to turn off whatever is spinning. Look for an on/off switch, a computer panel, whatever is making it run. Either the finder will turn it off or, failing finding a way to stop it, you can blow it up with internal safety in mind. Yesterday I blew up the thing that was spinning and the room it was in, so it could never be used again. After the object is turned off, destroy it. Early in my healing, I used to have a powerful protector hurl it into outer space. Whatever you can imagine, you can do.
Has the spinning slowed? If so, it worked. If it has been a very strong dizziness, it may take several days to completely dissipate. Small spin programs might stop immediately providing instant relief.
If the spinning has not slowed, ask the littles (who were rescued) if there is another place spinning. They usually know. Or there will be a "knower" in the system who knows the answer or knows who to ask for the answer. Repeat the steps to stop other locations with spinning objects.
One of my strongest spinning incidents included the hidden gyroscopes. I had so many pictures of gyroscopes in my collages but didn't know what they meant until I found them internally. Sometimes your art can help if you know that whatever you find is pictured. There might be clues to stopping it near the image. In my case, after finding the first gyroscope, I was still very dizzy. Tinkerbelle (yes, a tiny fairy alter) volunteered to seek out the other locations and report where they were. She said she was able to hear the whirring sound they made. It took a whole therapy session to undo that one. But it did get undone.
For some, the search party may take several days to find the spinning object. And it may take awhile to figure out how to dismantle it. The greater your creativity, the easier it is. 1, 2, 3 magic is a great tool for undoing things. Next time you are dizzy, try it. It can't hurt. Your system won't let you hurt yourself undoing things. someone will say "Wait!..You need to do "x" first!" If these steps don't work, there may be more complicated things going on. Regardless, it can be undone. Use your internal tools. Don't underestimate what littles or even little mouse alters can do to help.