For First Time Visitors

If you are a first time visitor to this blog, I invite you to start from the beginning, especially if you are unfamiliar with the potential emotional impact of long-term child abuse.

Trigger caution to unhealed survivors!

Understanding the Incomprehensible

Children of incest or long-term sexual abuse grow up to be wounded adults with complicated emotional issues. Unfortunately, some symptoms are misinterpreted or often dismissed as "crazy", only serving to maintain a tormented victim status. We, as a society, have the power to change this dynamic. Each of us can make a difference.

Jan 12, 2009

Art to deflect memory overload

I've been stuck in collage land for 23 days, with a total of 51 collages as of about 2 a.m. They are pouring out of me. I haven't been posting about it because it will be different for everyone--what they see. How they put things together. But I could already see I was using the same images or elements in several collages. I had them print out so I could move them around like a puzzle.

About three of them have similar words as well as the same littles. The word "obey" ties several into one memory. If I take another component and match all the collages with that, it's a different message. Whatever new brain connections are being made, it's happening fast and needs to get out. I would be overwhelmed with flashbacks or talking in the background if I didn't have this tool right now. You can see from my "production" level that my brain is bursting with new information.

Some is very sad. Some are answers I don't really want but suspected. At the rate I've been doing them, I would think it would be too much for someone to be THAT creative to make up this stuff and consistently relay the story of my past. I did something unusual today, or at least I thought it was. I showed my real life time line...each place I lived, the elementary school (I have no idea why I remember that), and something that went with that time in my life. Ballet and gymnastics went with my life from age 3 until 12. Gymnastics dominated my high school years.

Anyway, I have two real life collages depicting from birth through the Air Force after finally moving out of my house and away from my manipulative controlling father at age 19. The rest of my life is represented as a simple job behind a desk and my travels. Very neat collages. That was followed by one of my memories after the amnesia broke down and it looks like a mess. There are so many elements in it.

Memories by grace2244

Those two real life collages is what I thought my life was. Simple, boring, regular, neat, organized. I guess some of my rage at this happening to me is starting to show. Wonder how much longer I will need to get this new fusion stuff out. I miss doing my blog posts. Wanted to let you know what was going on. I think the puzzle aspect to the collages is really neat. They were not done in any particular order yet some of the later ones actually go with the earlier ones. Strange process.

Please remember there is now an Adult Survivors of Abuse group on Polyvore if you would like to try your hand at expressing yourself through collages. We have 11 members now. Hope to be back soon on a more regular basis.

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